headphones in
stiflingly hot
loud, creaking, clattering
swollen feet.
The aspiring artist sitting
next to the
Teenage father next to
the melancholy, middle-aged, slightly balding
man on his way to work.
The doors open
The doors close
Walking in
Walking out
Hurried
rushing.
How is she wearing a sweater-- it's
so hot and
What is he laughing at and
Why aren't his laces tied and
he looks like he
just left the gym.
I should work out
I should work out
and I don't think that person knows
what headphones are for because
I can still hear
her music.
I really enjoyed the specificity of your descriptions. You really capture the random details of a subway, details that for some reason we all can relate to. The repetition of "doors open/doors close" and "Walk in/walk out" were also great descriptions of what happens on a subway, and how annoying it might feel. I liked the playfulness of "I should work out" in the last stanza because it doesn't have to do with the stanza it is placed in, but it is describing the daydreaming that occurs while riding the subway. By far the best line was the last one because we are all thinking that as people's music is on full blast!
ReplyDeleteGreat job!